Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Calendar of Facial Hair

Today marks the last day of Movember (long known as No-Shave November and commonly known as November), so in honor of it, I thought I would post this Calendar of Facial Hair. It was created by a Bible study I co-led last year. One night, we were all sitting around and the guys started talking about how they weren't shaving for No-Shave November. Some of us felt that it wasn't fair for November to be the only month associated with facial hair, and so this calendar was created:

“Januhairy” - Don’t shave or pluck or cut any hairs on your body. Give your back hair a chance. 

“Fu-bruary” - In honor of Valentine’s day, because nothing says “I love you” like a full Fu Manchu. 

“Moustache March” - We will not alter this month as it has been laid down by our forefathers as the correct thing to be doing at this time. 

“April Fus” or “Anchor Beard April” - Two to choose from this month. Don’t let the French have all the fun.

“Mutton Chops May” - May your chops be fluffy and (not necessarily) white. 

“Well-Groomed June” - With the arrival of summer, it’s time to stop hiding the fact that you’ve been living in Januhairy for the last 6 months. Keep yourself well-groomed. A full shave is optional. 

“Summer Soul Patch” - Give your face a chance to cool off and your spiritual life a chance to grow. 

“Augoatee” - We know it doesn’t rhyme or alliterate, but give us a break, we tried hard. And you know you’ve been waiting all year for the goatee. 

“September Sparrow” - Set sail for awesome this month, show your pirate spirit, and get ready for International Talk Like a Pirate Day by growing a Jack Sparrow facial thingamajig. 

“Octoberfest Beerd Bong” - Don’t let one drop go to waste. Facial hair makes an excellent alcohol reservoir, though few have been fortunate enough to discover this fact prior to the publishing of this publication. 

“No-Shave November” or, for the more brave among us, “Neard November” - shave all facial hair except for what grows on your neck.

“Decembeard” - Keep your face warm for the first of the chilly winter months by growing a full beard by Christmas.

Did you know that there's a World Beard and Moustache Championship?

No comments:

Post a Comment